About the Holiday
If you’re a fan of the bearded look – whether full or scruffy – today is a day to rethink your style and perhaps have a shave. If you’ve worn a beard for some time, do you remember what you looked like before your grew it? Does your family? Maybe you have kids who have never seen you without a beard! You may find you like a clean-shaven appearance, just like the dad in this story. If not, of course, you can always regrow your beard – maybe your kids can help you pick out a style. There are many to choose from in this book!
Beard in a Box
By Bill Cotter
A little boy is so proud of his dad. He thinks his dad is “the coolest…the tallest, the fastest, the strongest. The awesomest!” The boy has done a little research and can boil all this greatness down into one quality: his dad’s beard. In fact, he’s found that the length of a beard has a direct connection to the awesomeness factor. Knowing this, the little boy wants to grow a beard of his own.
He tries everything. He scribbles one on with markers, attaches hairy patches from his pet cat to his cheeks with glue, and smudges on chocolate syrup (but that disappears with a few licks by the cat). Then he hears “an amazing offer” on TV. “SCAM-O! Makers of the Talking Toupee and the Baby Barber Kit” have created “Beard in a Box.”
Copyright Bill Cotter, 2016, courtesy of cotterillustration.squarespace.com.
This great kit promises that in just 5 easy steps anyone can “grow a beard (almost) instantly.” With such a fabulous face of hair, in no time the wearer will have the life of a lumberjack, a pirate, or a rock star. What’s in the box? The boy discovers that each kit comes complete with “beard seeds, mirror, step-by-step instruction manual, style guide, comb, trimming scissors, and mustache mousse.”
The boy rushes to the phone and orders one. Every day he sits by the mailbox waiting for his kit to come in. Finally, “6 – 8 weeks later” it arrives. The boy opens the package and starts his treatment. First up, is choosing a style. There are so many to pick from! Does he want the hippie look? The wizard? Maybe, the hipster, the tycoon, or the beatnik. The Octopus may be a little too tentacle, the King Tut a little too ancient, and the Double-Beard a little too…two.
Copyright Bill Cotter, 2016, courtesy of cotterillustration.squarespace.com.
But that can all be decided later. The boy slathers on the seeds, waters them, does the prescribed facial exercises, and repeats “steps 1 – 4 for 10 – 15 years.” Wait? What?! The boy is incensed. “AHHHHHH!!! Stupid Beard in a Box!…Who would have thought SCAM-O would be a dishonest company?” Dad comes on the scene just then and wonders what all the fuss is about.
His son begins to tell him, but…wait a second…something’s different. What is it? His dad has shaved his beard! Well, this is the last straw! How will the boy be awesome like his dad now? But Dad puts his arm around his son and tells him, “Awesomeness doesn’t have anything to do with beards. It’s about the kind of person you are.” And then he shows his boy what he means. They play basketball together, ride bikes together, and jam together. And as they head out to the fishing hole, what’s the cat up to? “Beep, boop, beep.” He’s ordering “SCAM-O’s new Fur-Ever Spray-On Fur.”
Copyright Bill Cotter, 2016, courtesy of cotterillustration.squarespace.com.
Bill Cotter’s unique, multi-level story revels in visual humor that will get kids laughing and thinking about issues of growing up. Through SCAM-O’s Beard-in-a-Box come-on, Cotter addresses the consumerism that tells kids and adults that outer appearances are more important than what’s inside. With gentle understanding and active participation, the boy’s father demonstrates the kinds of qualities that make a thoughtful and caring person. Cotter knows how much children look to their parents and other adults in developing their own personalities and behavior. By juxtaposing the two influences in the boy’s life, Cotter nudges young readers to recognize and reject the artificial.
Cotter’s little boy, enthusiastic to be like his awesome dad, will charm children. Young readers will also have fun choosing their favorites from among the suggested beards in SCAM-O’s kit. The boy’s pet cat makes a funny sidekick, and the final scene of the loving dad and son heading out on another adventure is heartwarming.
Ages 4 – 8
Alfred A. Knopf Books for Young Readers, 2016 | ISBN 978-0553508352
To discover more about Bill Cotter, his picture books, chapter books, and art, visit his website!
National No Beard Day Activity
Marvelous Moustaches
A Moustache can look distinguished or madcap! Here are some printable Marvelous Moustaches that you can use to make yourself look whacky, wild, and wonderful! Just color them, glue or tape each to a thin wooden craft stick or chop stick and hold them to your face for fun!
You can find Beard in a Box at these booksellers
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Books-a-Million | IndieBound
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